Arcade satire

Whack-a-Cabinet

Both administrations. One mallet. Their actual faces — nobody actually gets hurt.

Best — · 80 in the lineup

Tap a head before it ducks. Keys 1–9 match the holes. Green names, the Constitution, and Palestinian, Israeli, and Iranian civilians are off limits — a hit costs 5 seconds and doubles pop speed for ten seconds. A regular whack adds 1 second. Beating a boss adds 5. Epstein is ultra rare — clear all nine holes in five seconds for 10,000 points and 30 seconds. Netanyahu and MBS take three hits. DeSantis takes four. MBS also slows the board. Ministers take three hits. A boss that gets away costs 3 seconds.